Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier

We’ve all seen the alarming headlines about skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among today’s youth. As a society, we’ve responded by pouring more resources than ever into mental health services for kids and teens. So why aren’t things getting better? In her provocative new book “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up,” investigative journalist Abigail Shrier argues that well-intentioned mental health experts may actually be making the problem worse.

Shrier, who previously stirred controversy with her book “Irreversible Damage” about the transgender trend among teenage girls, once again takes aim at what she sees as misguided efforts by adults to help young people. But this time, her target is much broader – encompassing therapists, school counselors, parenting experts, and even the basic tenets of modern child-rearing philosophy.

Drawing on hundreds of interviews with psychologists, educators, parents and kids themselves, Shrier builds a compelling case that our obsession with children’s mental health has backfired spectacularly. By constantly monitoring kids’ emotions, accommodating their every feeling, and rushing to medicate away normal developmental challenges, she argues we’ve created a generation ill-equipped to handle the ups and downs of life.

A Scathing Indictment of the Therapeutic Industry

Shrier pulls no punches in her critique of what she dubs the “mental health-expert complex.” She argues that an unholy alliance of therapists, pharmaceutical companies, and school administrators have a vested interest in pathologizing normal childhood behavior. The result? An epidemic of dubious diagnoses, over-medication, and learned helplessness among kids who’ve never been allowed to struggle or fail.

Some of Shrier’s most damning evidence comes from the mental health professionals themselves. She quotes numerous therapists and researchers who admit, often sheepishly, that many popular interventions have little scientific backing. Even more alarming are the confessions from those who’ve seen the iatrogenic harm—doctor-induced illness—that can result from overzealous attempts to treat kids’ emotional issues.

The Dangers of “Bad Therapy”

A central argument of the book is that therapy itself can often do more harm than good for kids who aren’t seriously mentally ill. Shrier outlines several ways that even well-meaning therapists can inadvertently make things worse:

• Inducing rumination by constantly prompting kids to analyze their feelings
• Undermining resilience by framing normal life challenges as trauma
• Eroding family bonds by positioning therapists as the ultimate authority
• Stunting emotional growth by accommodating rather than challenging fears
• Medicalizing typical teen moodiness and encouraging dependence on drugs

Shrier is particularly critical of school-based mental health programs that she argues have turned classrooms into de facto therapy sessions. She describes cringeworthy examples of teachers encouraging young kids to publicly share their traumas or engage in group anxiety exercises. The intention may be to foster emotional awareness, but Shrier contends it often just creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of psychological fragility.

Gentle Parenting Gone Wrong

It’s not just the professional “experts” in Shrier’s crosshairs. She also takes aim at the prevailing parenting philosophies that have shaped how we raise kids today. The “gentle parenting” approach that eschews punishment in favor of validation and negotiation comes in for particular criticism.

Shrier argues that by treating kids like “little adults” whose every feeling must be honored, we’ve created a generation of entitled tyrants. She shares cringe-inducing anecdotes of parents pleading with tantrum-throwing toddlers or teenagers who refuse to do chores without an emotional processing session first.

The author advocates for a return to more authoritative parenting styles that set clear boundaries. She waxes nostalgic for the days when parents weren’t afraid to say “Because I said so!” and kids were expected to shake off minor disappointments. While some readers may bristle at this “tough love” approach, Shrier makes a compelling case that it ultimately leads to more resilient, capable adults.

The Perils of Overprotection

A major theme throughout the book is how efforts to shield kids from all discomfort end up leaving them woefully unprepared for real life. Some eye-opening examples Shrier cites:

• Schools eliminating grades or competitive sports to avoid hurting feelings
• Parents hiring “shadows” to follow kids around and smooth over social interactions
• Colleges providing therapy dogs and safe spaces to help students cope with exams
• Workplaces adjusting to Gen Z employees who can’t handle criticism or setbacks

Shrier argues that this “snowplow parenting” approach—clearing all obstacles from a child’s path—ultimately does them a huge disservice. By never allowing kids to experience failure or frustration, we rob them of the chance to develop grit and problem-solving skills.

A Call for a Return to Common Sense

So what’s Shrier’s prescription for turning things around? In essence, she advocates for a return to a more hands-off, common sense approach to raising kids. Some of her key recommendations:

• Stop pathologizing normal childhood emotions and behaviors
• Allow kids to experience natural consequences rather than constant accommodation
• Encourage independence and problem-solving instead of rushing to fix everything
• Set clear boundaries and expectations rather than endlessly negotiating
• Limit smartphone use and social media exposure
• Promote unstructured play and risk-taking to build resilience

Shrier acknowledges that for kids with serious mental illness, professional help can be life-saving. But for the vast majority, she argues that less intervention is often more. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for our kids is step back and let them figure things out on their own.

A Provocative But Timely Message

“Bad Therapy” is sure to ruffle some feathers, particularly among the mental health and education establishments that Abigail Shrier takes to task. Her breezy, conversational writing style and penchant for snarky asides may grate on some readers looking for a more scholarly approach.

But it’s hard to argue with her core thesis – that our hyper-focus on kids’ mental health may be doing more harm than good. At a time when rates of anxiety, depression and suicide among young people continue to climb despite unprecedented levels of intervention, Shrier’s provocative ideas are worth considering.

For parents feeling overwhelmed by conflicting expert advice, “Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier offers a refreshing permission slip to trust their instincts. Shrier’s message that it’s okay – even beneficial – to let kids struggle sometimes is a needed antidote to the pressure many feel to smooth away every bump in the road for their children.

Who Should Read This Book

“Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier is a must-read for:

• Parents wondering if they’re being too permissive or overprotective
• Educators frustrated by the creep of therapeutic culture into schools
• Mental health professionals questioning the efficacy of current approaches
• Anyone concerned about rising rates of mental illness among young people

Even readers who ultimately disagree with Shrier’s conclusions will find plenty of food for thought. She raises important questions about the unintended consequences of our efforts to support kids’ emotional wellbeing.

The Bottom Line

“Bad Therapy” is a bracing wake-up call about the dangers of turning childhood itself into a condition to be treated. Abigail Shrier makes a persuasive case that in our rush to help kids, we may be depriving them of the very experiences they need to become capable, resilient adults.

While some may find her tone glib or her critiques overly broad, it’s hard to argue with her core message – that kids need love, boundaries, and the freedom to learn from their own mistakes. In an era of helicopter parenting and participation trophies, Shrier’s call for a return to common sense is both provocative and oddly refreshing.

Agree with her conclusions or not, “Bad Therapy” is sure to spark important conversations about how we can best support the mental health of the next generation. And that alone makes it a worthwhile read for anyone who cares about the wellbeing of kids and teens today.